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2009/02/19 09:04 AM 

• The future of "I give" is "I take."
• The parts of speech are lungs and air.
• The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
• A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
• Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
• (Define H2O and CO2.) H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
• A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
• The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
• A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
• Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
• The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
• The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
• We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
• One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
• A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
• One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
• To prevent head colds, use an agonize to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
• The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
• The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
• Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
• The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
• Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
• The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
• In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
• Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
• In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
• A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.

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